The Apology Letter from Rich Hotel Management, Beijing.

Sino-Sing & my encounters with the "Engrish"

Just arrived back last night from the Sino-Singapore Exchange programme...food, fun, and feel-good (albeit having constantly see-saws between dry & oily lips - due to ever-so-dipped-in-oil nature of the food there).
Some pictures to share with you all readers...before I get down to actually blogging a proper entry. Enjoy :)

Left: "Toilit??! what toilit?"...Eh...I em Singaporean leh...I ask for "toilert", you giv me "toilit".
try to cheat my money ah? Nemind. wait until I finish go toilert first, then come and settle with you!

Right: Jimmy, Diana and I were riding along in our "cyclo-buggy" AKA "light-Strike Vehicle", enjoying our safari ride in the self-ascribed wilderness of the Cultural Village in Yunnan...when Lo and Behold! There appeared before us, A BRIDGE!
And not just any bridge...but a suspension bridge spanning across a wide expanse of water (ok, I'm exaggerating a little...it was a man-made river). Having no other way across (the alternative being making a huge detour to God-knows-where), we dismounted and proceeded with lifting our LSV up the flight of steps, wheeling it across the bridge (we had removed all valuable objects from the vehicle...lest the unspeakable happened to the bridge/vehicle - i.e. "Plop!").

(All the while we were pushing the buggy across, Diana was giggling uncontrollably, and capturing these beautiful shots of our triumphant advance across the river).

At the other bank, Ang Mohs stood in awe, and somewhat disbelief, as they witnessed two Ethnic-Chinese men pushing a wheeled contraption across a suspension bridge which was creaking in protest. Their disbelief soon dissolved as we arrived at their side of the bridge, and sportingly enough, they even offered to help us with the buggy down the flight of steps (see right) - all the time commenting, "They're crazy man!".

Why you say you tell me you dowan Tur Kua??

"Why you say you tell me you dowan Tur Kua?"

Sigh...Jeff Lopez ah...why you neh' tell the Bak Chor man Earlier you dowan tur kwa?
Look what problems that has gotten you into?
He is just a poor bak chor man...trying to earn his living. Now you accuse him, and then you whack him. How is Bak Chor man gonna support his wife and kids if you hoot him like that?
Consider citizens of your country, Jeff Lopez. We need people who tell the truth. If you neh' tell Bak Chor man earlier, then just say so. If you neh' bring, then say earlier.
Don't accuse accuse Bak Chor man, and expect people to support you. It doesn't work that way ok. You dowan Tekua, then say so.

Psalm 23, Verse 4

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

So Begone Evil...Thou Hast No place in Mine Heart.
Bleargh. (*Nyeh, neh, neh, neh, neh, neh, hehehehehehe* To the tune of Cartman saying the same) =)

"Anthropological Thoughts"

Am down to my last paper now..."Anthropology and the Human Condition". Was going through some of the videos on IVLE for revision, and one of the Poems that a missionary and ethnographer friend of William Rivers by the name of C. E. Fox wrote was really amusing. Shed some insights to how we'd view (as outsiders), kinship patterns of others populations and communities as strange. Enjoy! =)

Anthropological Thoughts

The Doctor took his book in hand
His pen was in his finger
His foot was on a foreign strand -
But there I need not linger.

"Now how," said he, "if I may ask
About your cousin's mother
Would she attempt the simple task
Of speaking of your brother?

Ah yes, just so, but if she were
Your mother's uncle's sister
How would your cousin's sister's aunt
Address her when she kissed her?

Yes, that's a point I meant to add:
Your nephew's cousin's father
If he an uncle's sister had
(And neither of the two were mad)
Would he respect her rather?

But if your father's cousin's niece
(His brother's cousin's mother)
Were married to your father's son
Would he be called your brother?

Indeed, now this if it be so
Is very interesting
And really should not be I think
The subject of your jesting.

For if your father's mother's son
Were nephew to your mother
I really cannot understand
Why she should call him "brother."

Alas, Alas, for just before
The doctor's mind could grip her
A shout of laughter issued from
The Cabin of the Skipper.

(Haddon Envelope 12051)

The Atheist.

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he continued walking longside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes.

Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest
resumed. And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."

Song for today: "All Creatures Of Our God and King"