High above the city, on a tall column, stood the statue of the Happy Prince. He was gilded all over with thin leaves of fine gold, for eyes he had two bright sapphires, and a large red ruby glowed on his sword-hilt...
 

The Happy Prince

The Happy Prince

“I am going to the House of Death.
Death is the brother of Sleep, is he not?”

So now, here I stand,
Bare and broken,
On a horse-cart dragged by
Two bone-ragged skeletons.

“Those were pearls that were his eyes,
Nothing of him that doth fade”
So said the Great Bard.
Alas, those were rubies that were mine.

Perhaps, I’ve teared mine blind.
Swallow, swallow,
You who plucked my eye for the little matchgirl,
Answer me this, I command you:
How is she now?

Does her father still beat her,
When matches are spilt?
Does she cry on the streets,
Looking at unshod feet?
Does she lie stiff in the cold,
Too frightened to move?
Too…dead.

In thin gold leaves I was clad,
Shutting the cold from without.
Swallow, O swallow,
Answer me this, I ask:
How are the impoverished?

Who sit beneath half-streets, and bridges
In hope of a better tomorrow?
Who lie in creaky doorways,
Mending broken shoes and pots and pans.
Do they still scrimp and starve,
Malnourished, cold, wide-eyed,
Hungry?

From my hilt,
A ruby you plucked,
For the seamstress sewing the lady’s dress.
Swallow, Dear swallow,
Answer me this, I beseech:
How fares her now?

Does she sorrow still, over a son feverishly faint?
Does river water still taint her son’s tears and hers?
As she toils embroidering passion flowers on
Another gown for a ball?

----------------------------------------------------
For all the bread in the world,
For all the springs of the high Alps,
Wells in oasis’s far and wide,
Fruit and honey,
Milk and Wine.
I paid the price.

Now give me my freedom from your hearts.

I command,
I beseech,
I beg.

A leaden heart,
A dead sparrow.

I die.
I live,
In the City of Gold,

I’m free.

----------------------------------------------------

Optimism? Pessimism? "Manic Depression"? hah.

I've been pondering these terms for a long time. Too long, I should add. It gnaws at my insides...like an acidic reagent, clawing its way out of my body. The Oxford English Dictionary say that to be 'optimistic' is to be "inclined to take a favourable view of circumstances, and to hope for the best; hopeful and confident about the future". And pessimism, well...what do you know... is defined as "The tendency or disposition to look at the worst aspect of things; the habit of taking the gloomiest view of circumstances: antithetical to OPTIMISM". Great.
I must REALLY seem like a dreadful pessimist, now don't I? Talking about these things...at what, 9:30 in the morn? Yeah, I'm probably in one of my manic depressive moods...like an old friend once said to me...a long long time ago. Even cast me into one of the roles in a play she wrote. Said I fit it to a 'T'. Haha. Then again, she may have been absolutely prophetic. Read somewhere that people born in the early months of the year have a larger incidence of suffering from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder (AKA Manic depression). Well, my starsign is characterised best for its link to split personalities...something which I used to shun and ignore...but in recent times (due to certain events happening)...have realised "Mr Hyde", as I call him coming to the fore.
I've said this before...will say it again. Sometimes, looking at the world through tinted glass makes it all seem so Oz-like. Remember the Emerald City, and how the city-folk were made to believe that IF (heaven forbid) they took off their green-tinted glasses and looked at the Wizard and his city, they would meet with a horrible end. Otherwise, they could continue wearing their green-specs and live their lives fully. I question the world and its nuances. I wonder, sometimes: Are we actually looking at the world through green-glasses? Is our vision skewed to see a beautiful Emerald City, where everything shimmers green and verdant, a luxuriant Paradiso? Or are we merely afraid to make the first move, and take the specs off, to see the world for what it truly is - the World.
I do not agree with those who hide behind their big-booming voice-projection machines, working huge bellows to blow smoke out of a huge head in their City's throne-room - so as to give others the impression of their "Wizardly-ness". What's WITH the facade? The "false face"? If we are all friends, who needs enemies? But then again, the converse is something to think about. If everyone is an enemy, what friends are there left to make? Suspicion, deceit, corruption, despair - some things which may never be vanquished from the face of this earth. For they have co-existed alongside humankind, as soon as the serpent offered us the fruit. And they will not leave us till we leave this mortal plain.

The M113A1-FSV (Fire Support Vehicle), a variant used by the Australian Army. Looks damn good in this pic right? 

My Surprise Party: Part Deux

To all those involved in giving me the time of my life on the 23rd May which just happened on Monday...THANK YOU so much! =)
Had brought Rachel to go a practice drive before her test on Tues. And had allowed her to drive to Sam's home to pick him up. Strangely, she told me she needed to use the toilet, so of course...the nearest was the most obvious choice. Told her to turn in to a nearby Chicken rice coffee shop and use the washroom there. When she had gotten in...she gave me the shock of my life when she made firstly, a 3 lane change (From the left most to the right most), followed by driving in the right most lane at 10 km/h!! Proceeding to Sam's house...he appeared at the carpark, inviting us up, saying we had not seen the pad yet. Not thinking too much...I agreed with this SEEMINGLY innocent gesture. =P (Which turned out to be the beginning of my 'downfall'). haha
Entered to a rather quiet flat. I noticed first, the huge projection screen on the wall, as well as the Chinese MTVs being played continuously. The living room seemed rather spartan...which is good by my standards because I am not one for clutter. I would have lingered on, fiddling with the television and karaoke remote controls - hoping that my favourite Jacky Cheung songs would play (to no avail) - had the two of them (Rach and Sam) insisted that I took a look at his room. Yeah sure, why not, since I'm already here, thought I.
The room did seem a tad dimly lit, with the curtains/blinds drawn. A mysterious warm glow seemed to be emitted from a corner out of my field of vision as I approached the doorway. Taking my first step into the room, a pleasant cool brushed past my feet. The aircon must have been turned off just, perhaps the Hongkie only JUST got up, pondered I as I advanced. THEN it hit me. It WAS my birthday afterall. No one from this clique of good friends had bothered to do anything/say anything to me. There was something strange going on...
"PSSSSSSTTTT!!!!" went the canister, as streams of sticky cold aerosol streamer flew onto my face. "SURPRISE!!" went Elvin, and the rest of the gang, as they proceeded to empty the remainder of the can onto me. Was really joyous and happy…and was extremely touched that the entire gang had made the effort to organise such a party for me. Chels and Shaun had selected a book of poems and (of course!), the Constantine comic book for me (with aid from Nic). Chels also chose a fantabulous chill CD (I’ve listened to it 5 or 6 times now…and I think the starting is the best…the mellow bass and piano keys hitting the right notes).
Abdul and Daryl got me an M113 APC model...which I’ve almost finished making (except for the tracks…which are supposed to be individually assembled). Yeah…that has taken my mind off things for abit.
Joyce was such a dear, and gave me…of all things…two books! Haha The first, was “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, which she says will help me “relive my childhood”. The second book, was one you’d probably get for a 2 year old…with huge words, colourful pictures, and a squeaky thing in the centre you could squeeze that goes ‘BEEP!’ I couldn’t help but press the ‘beeper’ everytime I turned the page. Heh…call me a kid or anything, but I’m a sucker for such stuff. =P
Jules (who sadly is still in China on the Sino-Singapore exchange), had given me a present with the instructions to open it only on my birthday. Yup…I found she had presented me a book entitled “Representations of Women in Singapore” (I hope I got that correct)…with a mighty interesting cover depicting nude women in the “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” poses. It’s a wonder the authorities let this book go on shelves…with its R-ratedness in full graphic form!!…hahah Jokes aside, I think the book has some very good articles (judging from the contents) about various issues, from the traditional notion of women in the past, to that of the various roles women in Singapore are tasked or assigned to take up.
Rach and Nic bought me this t-shirt which looked MIGHTY familiar…cos I had said it looked “cool” when we were out at Junction 8 one day. Has this interesting design of Christ’s face that can only be seen at a particular angle, with the words “Who do you think I am?” on the bottom. Really meaningful Christian message…put forth in a creative way. Thanks Dears! =)
Yes…last, but not least…my dear Mum and Brother went all the way to Royal Sporting House and got me a Puma jacket. Which would have been swell…till I realised that it was hanging off my limbs. It turned out that, my mum not knowing my size, had gotten my Third bro (who’s only Sec 3…but so much taller than me) to try out the jacket. SO he chose a jacket which fit HIM…conveniently!!
Yup…On other news…I’ve been asked for an interview for the Student Mentorship Programme this coming Thursday. Yeah, say that I’m idealistic and naïve…but I’ve felt strongly that ever since I made it to Uni, I haven’t done anything useful for society. Yes, I am on a Government scholarship…which technically means I am or WILL BE serving in the civil service in future…but that doesn’t belie the fact that till then, I’ll be a mere student (a digit, even, if you may) in this repetitive mundane system…churning out essays, projects…to gain the final results so crucial for a good degree scroll. I know grades are important. But to me, there are greater things out there to be seen, beyond the tips of our noses. Yes, if you’d like, this is the idealistic reason why I ‘signed on’ as a Regular (other than the various reasons which some close friends may know…and I can assure all those people who stereotype Regulars to be those who “Bo Tak Chek” and “sign on for the money only” can be soundly disappointed when they know about my reasons). To do this mentorship programme would allow me to contribute in a meaningful and practical way to society – something which I’ve always seen essential to the basis of human life. If we all merely go in search of our grades, money, food, shelter, and water, then aren’t we all just animals in LV clothes, strutting with Ray-Ban sunglasses? Surely the essence of human compassion to feel and discern the meaningful from the mechanistic mundanity is what warrants our humanity? Yes, I’ve heard of the stresses which a friend has shared with me about. But I think that having gone through the Singaporean curriculum…with 4 ECAs in JC on top of leadership roles in school…and still having made it to Uni…makes me able to take up this challenge once more. A little stress never killed anyone, eh? ‘sides…I feel myself being very idle…in a spiritual, mental, physical sense…and need to perk myself up with the prospect of perking others up. Haha…
Yup..wish me well (or if you’d like…wish my future mentee well too!) =P

My Surprise Birthday party!

Such an honour to be pictured with these lovely ladies. *From left: Chels, Rach, Myself, Nic, Dawn* 

The guys posing with a member of the winning team. *From left: Sam (AKA Hongkie), Shaun (AKA Scared-Man/Dear), Moi, Elvin  

"And the crowd cheered as the Euro-cup Champions strode into the room...spraying weird-smelling aerosols (Probably a symbolic celebratory ritual of their culture)..." 

"Thank God for being Merciful, Thank God for being Kind"

Rachel PASSED her driving test! Finally! Perhaps it was all our prayers after all. perhaps it was her own faith and will to make it happen this time. Perhaps the tester was a nice bloke. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...
Was quite anxious to know her driving test result. I know she has been really bothered by the previous failed attempts to get a license...on top of the fact that she funds her own driving lessons. She may not be from an extremely poor family, yet has the common sense (that may not be so 'common' afterall, considering today's extravagant youths) to want to keep her family expenses low. In short, she is responsible and thrifty. Perhaps, somebody up there sees some goodness in the virtue of 'Thrift' in this day and age...and said, "Yeah, why not ease this lass' burden by a bit?" So many "perhaps-es"...SO little Time.
Didn't call her, but went down to the driving centre to pick her up...after a film screening ending at 11. Lunch was at this place she recommended..."Ivin's" i think...possibly the best Peranakan food I've tasted so far. Buah Keluak, Nasi Kuning, some young papaya stew...was simple but delectable fare. Dropped her at home at 2:10...then made my way BACK to school...cos my Jap Film class was to begin at 2:15. Got in there to see the rest of the class intently gazing at the screen, where "Stray Dog" was playing.
Fortunately, Dr Lim had gone out to get a coffee, otherwise, I'd have been 'suaned' silly by her.
On another note, I've submitted my poems for the Golden Point Awards 2005...yesterday was the closing date (Yes...MY BIRTHDAY...and they give me that kinda stress). Had to go down to MICA (Ministry for the Information, Communication and the Arts) to send them in, as well as pay the registration fee of 15 bucks. And guess what? Met Dr Yeo Wei Wei, one of my Lit tutors there, submitting her own poetry! haha Nic was joking, saying it'd be quite something if my work won and not hers. Well, we'll just see...for now, its a fair game. Perhaps it is, isn't it?

The thunderstorm after the musical reminded me of a poem I wrote, Circa 2001, Entitled "Raindrops keep falling".  

Busy, busy little bees...

Yes, I quote from Gladiator...the part where the evil Emperor questions his sister about her affair with Maximus. Now now...don't get me wrong. I don't suspect anyone around me of having affairs. What I am indicating is merely the sheer workload that I'm experiencing for my Post War Film and Anime class....which isn't as slack as I was told. readings to be done...Project proposal to be finished in a week...deadline is my Bday tomorrow (fortunately we're done with it on Friday...so I get to enjoy my celebration. =P) AH well.
Been rushing my application for the Golden Point Award, a bienial writing competition organised by the NAC. Smart me printed ALL the poems out...all eight of them...all 4 sets of manuscripts. Then realised that I didn't have page numbers, nor did I have my title on the "top-right of the page", with my IC number along with that. Sheesh man. Can't these people put their instructions more plainly and group them in one complete section? When I read the application instructions...the "administrative procedure" section which listed down the way the titles should be written and submission deadlines were listed separately from the "manuscript" section - which said the manscripts have to be "double-spaced". How misleading!! Should have just put it all together...so that people going through ADMINISTRATION can check it out in one glance!!
Yeah...quite unhappy. (You just try printing out a whole stack of your poems/works/essays even...and then realise that something is wrong somewhere. YOU tell me how that feels.) Alright, raving does not help. I'm going to have to print these anyhow.
On to other news, am attending Rachel's Choir concert tmr with the rest of the gang. Sounds really promising...and am anticipating a splendid performance. =P She's been quite troubled recently...over various issues...like performing well in the concert, and her most pertinent thoughts are directed to the driving test on Tuesday morning this week. Sure she has the skills...just pray that the conditions will be great for a good test that day, and she will be confident to do well even with a mean grumpy old foogie (like my first tester...who failed me for "not giving way" to another L-Plate Driver who was just idling at the junction, when I had clearly waited till the lights turned amber). All the best Rach, you can do it! ;)
Leaving soon for a nice High-tea at the cafe my mum's working at...going to celebrate both my bro's bday and mine...his was yesterday and mine tmr. Haha. Hope mum will be able to sit with us and have a cake or two. Sigh.
Yeah, tonight will be spent on meeting with the "Play-to-Aids" team for dinner at Sofra Turkish restaurant...followed by crooning our hearts out with a few good friends at a KTV joint. The latter had been planned for a long time...but ppl just have had loads of commitments (and wkend prices are twice those on wkdays)...so we had to make the ktv meeting tonight (Yes, Sunday nites are counted as the start of the new week. For ONCE...people adhere to the orthodox way of counting days of the week..."Sunday, Monday, Tuesday..." NOT "Monday, Tuesday...Blah".

British troops in the Middle East - Crusaders of a misguided faith? Or Wardens of the Sacred Covenant? 

Richard the Lionheart led the Crusaders to many victories along the eastern Mediterranean coast, but failed to conquer the holy city of Jerusalem. Instead he negotiated a peace with Saladin in 1192.
 

The Kingdom Of Heaven...lies beyond us.

Beyond our hearts, and our Minds.
Thereforth lies it.
And behold, a true splendour, of pomp and glory.
For All Race, Religion -
no colour bounds you thence.
That seemed the message I received when watching the movie "Kingdom of Heaven" just now with Sean. An epic about the Crusades, it tries to portray compassion as the necessary virtue to win over the hearts and minds of people in a foreign land. Many noble men these days, of noble birth and status sadly are unable to live up to the stuff expounded in this film. To oft are we enwrapped in the trials of the modern world, to find time to show compassion - which is the essence of which God wants us to act. Yes, we may say that through actions like charity, and our thoughts being pure and chaste, our way to God is clearer. Do you agree with this? Do you agree with me?
I don't agree with this view. But many in the world still subscribe to it. You don't have to deny it outrightly. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. The old granny who's been going to the temple since the day she learnt of her sins in her past life as a prostitute. The man who visits every single religious institution, and carries religious symbols and artifacts of every religion known to man - simply for the "just in case" factor which gnaws at all our consciences. Even as we pray, in our clean done-up suits and dresses, with ties "asserted by a modest pin", for redemption - don't you think it has an assertive tone to it? "PLEASE PLEASE God...take us away, from this world...into your Paradiso."
I'm not saying what we do in our various religions is wrong. Yet, what I do not agree with is the forcing of one's own beliefs onto others, and expecting the latter to comply, and accept whole-heartedly - even embracing at times - the former's beliefs. This was the case in the movie I saw. Though part fictional, the events of the Europeans forcefully entering Jerusalem and trying to convert all Muslims to Christianity did (sadly) indeed happen. And like the epilogue said..."Richard the Lionheart had an uneasy truce with the Arabs in Jerusalem"...A thousand years later, the Kingdom of Heaven still hangs in the balance - between the Palestines and the Israelis. When will this end? Maybe never. Or maybe, as the Chrisitian priest (who wasn't for cremating the bodies of the deceased) in the movie prophetically claimed (I paraphrase loosely here), "the bodies, once burnt, will not be able to be resurrected till the Second Coming".
"God is great, and worthy of our praise" - a line which seems universal whether it be said in Arabic, or in Christian languages (Hebrew, English, French, etc). Perhaps, we should see beyond the external, the transcendent concept of 'religion' - and occupy ourselves more with the idea of compassion, and applying the heart to things without. Its only then, can we truly (I feel) say we are God-loving - when we are able to see beyond the superficial bounds of race and religion, economic wealth, political power.
Till that day comes, when Utopia is reached, and idealism rules - compassion, and love of others before self - is the sole way we can keep a fragment of God within ourselves. Perhaps, we'll piece these shards together...one day.

Torn...drained...

Was just thinking to myself last night; as the lightning and thunder flashed and boomed across the sky, and heavy rain I had not felt for weeks splashed down from the heavens above. Was thinking to myself about how tiring it is to work at certain things, even if they are not military-related. The last time I felt so drained was after one of my exercises in Sandhurst, where we had a 12 KM extraction march in full kit, wearing full NBC (Nuclear Biological Chemical - The kinda suit you see people in hazardous conditions wearing) gear.
It is quite draining on not only the body, but also the mind, having to rush here and there, coordinating doors opening and closing, ticket collection, direction of guests to the proper venue (so that they won't end up in some other auditorium in that huge school building of ACS, Barker). I'm quite thankful to my friends around me, for having supported us through the musical which ran for the past 3 nights.
I definitely have to give thanks to the "Big Guy" up there (Yes, its You =p ), who's been watching us all, making sure that the set was built safely and without injury - something that I think many have taken for granted. The way I look at it is, there has to be some divine being to intervene when we are about to open a door, unwittingly, and step out into oblivion.

Dichotomous Parallels in the "House of Wax"

The horror movie (if I may even term it that) which we saw on Tuesday was simply appalling. "House of Wax" was extremely disturbing (Poor Rachel and Nicola had to step outside after viewing a particularly gory scene, and stayed out till the end of the movie, waiting for us). The scenes of killing, mutilation, and dismemberment were extremely graphic, and spine-chillingly real. So real in fact, that it became almost satirical of the horror movie genre. If there was one thing that the movie was worth praising, it did manage to weave in a certain amount of philosophy and plot amongst the slaying. The concept of the "Doppelganger" (literally from the German word, "double") was used by the director in this story to show the dichotomous contrast of the two pairs of siblings. Both pairs were twins - one pair comprising a brother and sister who looked perfectly normal (even somewhat attractive), contrasted to the other pair comprising a pair of Siamese twins separated at birth. The twins in the story were used to signify the extremes of human behaviour. On one pole were the 'normal' kids who were out simply to have some fun, average teenagers who probably did decently at school. And yet on the other pole, the twins who inhabited the quaint, rustic town in the middle of the wilderness. To cut a long story (and possibly, a thesis!) short...I'd say that what we are faced with is a Jekyll-Hyde scenario - only that in this case, it comes in double servings.
Yes, the movie IS extremely disturbing, but I usually try to see behind the facade of Hollywood lights and screams to understand the script and/or storyline which is the (Creative) scriptwriter's way of speaking to the audience.

A feeling of relief...finally.

Many would have felt their relief overwhelm them once their last day of exams were over. Mine ended on Tuesday this week..."Film and Cultural Texts". I didn't feel much relief...not after I forgot every single female characters' name in that 'hit' series, "Sex and the City". Why am I so sore about it? Lets just say...I'm a Bloody Lit major. And I'm supposed to know my texts well...may they be films, plays, novels, or poems. And I just had to forget ALL the characters names. So what did I end up doing? Referred to the ladies as "the one with blonde hair", "the red-headed one", "the one with the husband who leaves his teabags (in more ways than one) all over the house". You get the picture. URGH. Disgusted at myself.
Yeah. So it should be no surprise that my sense of relief comes at a delayed rate. Only just began realising that I'm done with exams. Went to Ikea today, in order to buy a nice bookcase for my room in PGP with Jules. We shared a plate of Swedish meatballs at the little cafeteria there, which I must say REALLY reminds me of an 'authentic' cafeteria. HOW "authentic"? What with the queues, and people moving forward in human caterpillar style, to order their food, and getting them served (although not as horrifically as Army cookhouses in days of yore). And strangely enough, the cafeteria smelt rather pleasing, as if they had released the scent of freshly-made furniture into the surroundings, so that there wouldn't be the over-whelming smell of "stale steaks and sawdust covered restaurants".
Yeap...got home only at 11 something...after clearing up a large portion of rubbish in my cupboard and under my bed in PGP. The bookcase has helped lots...I now have my lit texts which once laid claim, for this whole term, to the spot below my head, under the bed - having been translocated to the pristine locale of the top most shelf of my bookcase. (The second shelf is reserved for my "books for reading pleasure", of which I've bought quite a few from last Saturday's Bookfair at the Expo. Good stuff.
Mental note to self: Finish "Fast food nation", "Tuesdays With Morrie"...and any other books which my dear friends have given/bought me, which I guiltily admit, haven't been able to finish, due to the fact that my Lit texts such as those written by Bronte, Dickens, and Tennyson claimed presidence over my mental faculties during the term. Ah well. Bronte...go take a back seat will ya? I'm gonna indulge in some Chuck Palahniuk.

Just being a good person. Once more.

Once more, I leave myself no room for surprises. "Mr Nice Guy: At his best"... "Mr Nice Guy does it YET again!"
Today, I just let my good side take over me...twice.
The first incidence happened after lunch. Had let the rest of the gang return to the cluster whilst I went along to book the BBQ pit for tomorrow's barbeque. Unfortunately, when I got to the main office, they told me that the pits had all been booked. Well, deciding on using makeshift pits, and going along with our BBQ anyway, I made my way back my block.
Approaching the lift lobby of my block, I caught sight of a girl with 3 large bags surrounding her. No...let me rephrase that. She was surrounded by 3 humongous luggage bags (A suitcase, another LARGER suitcase, and a hand-carry bag...each being twice the size of the poor girl). No one passing by her seemed to care or bother. They probably assumed that she was an exchange student/foreign student going home for the vacatioins (Which is a pretty valid assumption, considering almost every person is moving out of PGP for the hols...maybe except those who have stuff like Special Sem to do - namely ME).
I would have assumed the same (After all, I am only human). Yet, as I neared her, I noticed the lost and helpless expression on her face. Like that of a girl with 3 large bags to move to the main road, in order to catch a flight home. Walking up to her, she let her plight beknown, "Er...hi. Do you know anyway...er, easier to get to the road, where I can get a cab?" She gave a glance of desperation toward the only flight of steps to the interchange, which seemed to return her gaze menacingly. "Well"...thought I, "let's get this lady's bags on the road. She's never going to make it up alone. Besides, I need a workout desperately." "I'll help you get these. Let's go", was my reply to the lady.
It was only after I had lugged those gargantuan bags up three flights of steps, with her in tow that a question made itself apparent in my mind. It was only after I realised the weight of the bags (almost 60kg? Considering I'd lugged my buddy in Sandhurst around the field before...and he was already the lightest dude at 60 kilos!) that I had been carrying, did the question form in my head.
"How the heck did she make it all the way to my block, with these bags, all alone?". By the time I wanted to turn and ask the question, I had arrived back in my cluster, in Block 15, level 3. And the girl was nowhere in sight.
It still puzzles me.

And then, "Mr Nice Guy Act 2" came after that, in the evening at around 4:30, I made my way out with Julia to help with the set for the musical. Yes, there are those of you who heard I wouldn't want to help with the musical 'sai-gang'. You DID hear correctly. But, but, but...you all have forgotten one important thing. I am not a person who will sit around, watching his friends drag their asses around, till they bleed, whilst working on something that could jolly-well not been theirs. I'm talking about those people who were roped in to do the thankless job of creating a backdrop, a set for the musical (which incidentally will be performed in less than 2 weeks time). There are only three of them. All girls. You don't expect them to be hauling bloody metal scaffoldings around the stage and bolting them together alone, do you? I certainly don't. That's the foremost reason. Don't speculate otherwise.

Maybe, there are those people who are made to be simply 'mortal-mortals'. And maybe, there are those, who are made to be 'angel-mortals'. Like the games we use to play in Junior College..."Angel-Mortal"...where everyone would be assigned a different person to watch over, like a guardian angel, and yet, be watched over by someone else - unknown to ourselves.
Perhaps, we will all have such angels in our lives. They may just turn up in the least expected places, and in the least expected shapes, size and form. Perhaps, I may be an angel...to you? Or you to me?
Only time will tell.
Sooner or later.
Time will tell.

Dogs and Dolls...substitute for humanity? 

Among the windings of the violins...

URGH...my aching head. Didn't get too much sleep the night before. Haven't been getting enough sleep. My processor's not working properly. A dull hurt, reverberating around my cranium...like a dull tom-tom, hammering, crashing through my head from inside-out.
Was out last night with some of the ladies to catch Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence at Shaw Towers. FIRST CLASS, TOP NOTCH film!! If you don't like Anime, or you don't like philosophical movies...this movie may just change your mind! Being unlike a usual dumbed-down Hollywood creation, the anime smacks of literary and philosophical discussions and allusions. My favourite had to be the director's rendition of Descartes' Dream Analogy - where the case is argued whether one is really living, or merely dreaming of his own existence. The protagonists, a Cyborg cop and his human partner, seem to be having the recurring experience of approaching a huge bizarre mansion, complete with a giant musical box. As the approach Kim, the owner of the mansion (a cyborg), their own images are reflected on his face. He first appears as himself - a dilapidated, disease-ridden being on the brink of destruction. After 'dying', he appears again with the human cop's face (albeit with a mechanical mouth), and in the third reincarnation, with the Cyborg's image. Though later, it was explained that there had been a virus hacking into their minds which caused them to see the bizarre replicant images of themselves, I found the significance of their constant 'waking' and dreaming of the same scene striking. This especially so, since they kept seeing themselves - a sort of Lacan-ian portrayal of the infant self, unborn and unknowing, till the infant sees its own likeness of image in the mirror?
Also, the recurrent motif of the eyes and their significance. Realised all the cyborgs in the movie - no matter good or bad, all had no eyes/unfeeling eyes. Like some philosopher (Descarte, or Plato?) said, "eyes are the windows to the soul", the reason for having this shown in the movie ties in with the question: whether it is greater to be alive and feeling, or to be dead and emotionless - given that both entail a corporeal physical experience necessary for change?
Yet, the over-arching question which seems to be posed to the audience throughout the film, "why do humans have an obsession of recreation themselves?" is a haunting reflection of our own lives. From our need to own pets which seemingly empathise with our moods, to the creation of dolls to satisfy the need for mother-hood or even sexual pleasure; the parallel that the director drew between the protagonist's pet-dog and the dolls smacked of introspective philosophy.
The director of the film Mamoru Oshii says "As humans have become more 'mind-oriented' and the environment has become more urban, they have forgotten the idea of the human body. As far as they're concerned, the human body does not exist anymore. The reason that people of today choose to have dogs is that they're looking for a substitute for the human body". Perhaps we'll never know if we really are mindless dolls ourselves, being created in mass factories for masters to use us? Or perhaps, we may be dogs - living, yet not totally living our own will - serving merely as mirrors of our infant masters as they impose their image onto ourselves.
Think.